Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
