dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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