You really coming over, don't trick.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
