found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
