I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
