The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i now understand why vodka
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
