Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
