adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't put those talents on a resume
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
