I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
