This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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