I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
