Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
