dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
