Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sext me about skeletons
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
