I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
