So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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