Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
