I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
a search helicopter?!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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