why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
