every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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