Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
