you guys were way drunker than both of me
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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