party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
