So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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