Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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