the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
