Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Randomize
