i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
