Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
