Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
