i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
