Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I didn't notice because vodka
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
