Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
