yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
