More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
