Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
