Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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