I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
