my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The ass gains better be worth it
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