Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
