I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
