dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
