You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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