There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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