I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
