Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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