So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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