I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
