i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My penis needs a shock collar
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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