I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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