His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
